Kunzang Namgyal
Mr.Ippolito
AP Biology- EF even
30 October 2017
Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.” New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
This week I decided to read the New York Times article, “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient” by Denise Grady. This article was written about an experimental procedure performed on fetuses that suffer from spina bifida. Spina bifida is is a condition in which the backbone and spinal cord do not develop properly. Many children born with this condition are unable to walk, lack bladder control, and suffer from fluid buildup in their brains. Spina bifida is not usually fatal, however operating on the child post birth can worsen their disabilities. Dr. Michael A. Belfort, the chairman of obstetrics and gynecology at Baylor College of Medicine and obstetrician and gynecologist-in-chief of Texas Children’s Hospital and Dr. Whitehead, a pediatric neurosurgeon, have designed a prenatal surgery known as fetoscopic surgery. They operate on the fetus before birth by lifting the uterus out of the mother, filling it with carbon dioxide gas so that surgeons have room to work, and then operating on the fetus while it remains in the uterus. Dr.Belfort and Dr. Whitehead developed their fetoscopic procedure by operating on sheep and practicing on a simulator that used a rubber kickball with a doll wrapped in chicken skin to mimic a fetus in a uterus. performing prenatal sugary could allow doctors to better fix the defect because,"Some of the spinal damage is caused by amniotic fluid, which turns increasingly toxic to the exposed nerve tissue as the pregnancy progresses and the fetus passes more and more wastes into the fluid.” In fact,”The percentage of children who could walk independently rose to 40 percent from 20 percent, and the need for a shunt was cut in half, to 40 percent from 82 percent.”. These are drastic changes in percentages, showing the effectiveness of prenatal surgery. Although this type of prenatal surgery is effective, the patients that undergo it must be carefully selected, as the pediatric neurosurgeon Dr. Whitehead lamented, "The percent who benefit, I wish it was higher”. Their first 28 cases have had good results, no fetuses have died,very few have required shunts, and their pregnancies appear to last longer, coming closer to full-term than with the open procedure. However, some doctors who practice the open procedure believe that the carbon dioxide pumped into the uterus may cause neurological harm to the fetus.
This article is relevant to society because it offers a new solution to a medical issue that eafects 1,500 babies born each year in the United States alone. This new type of surgery could help some of the individuals who suffer from this condition. The development of this new prenatal procedure could also incite more research into other types of prenatal surgeries that could help fetuses suffering from other conditions. This research and procedure could be a model for other new types of surgeries performed on fetuses.
In the article Grady does a good job of explaining the development of the procedure and gives important details such as the use of a simulator as a practice tool. I wish that Grady had given a better explanation of what exactly spina bifida is earlier on in her article, she eventually defined the condition however it would have been beneficial if she had defined the term earlier on. The article provided diagrams of a fetus with spina bifida, this helped me understand the birth defect in greater depth once it had been defined. Grady states that the fetoscopic procedure is a better alternative to the “open procedure”, however she fails to explain what the open procedure is.
Robby Schetlick
ReplyDeleteAP Biology
Current Events Comment #6
October 29 2017
Citation: Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.” New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
Kunzang Namgyal’s current event review is on the article “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient” by the New York Times. Kunzang does a couple things well in the review that significantly improve the quality. Firstly, she is extremely detailed and sticks to the facts. The first summary paragraph is very explanatory, and breaks down the terms for all levels of readers. The extra research of defining terms not explained clearly in the article is helpful to the reader and makes the review a cleaner read. The next thing she does well is the choices for evidence. Instead of grabbing random blocks of text from the article, she does most of the explanations herself. She uses the limited number of quotes to convey emotions such as when she wrote, “Dr. Whitehead lamented, ‘The percent who benefit, I wish it was higher.’” The emotion is much more powerful and gets the point across stronger than some of the emotionless explanations of other doctors. Finally, Kunzang does a good job of organizing the review and following proper structure. Even though it is simple, following the 3 paragraph structure is good at helping a frequent blog follower follow the ideas in the review.
The issues with the review are mostly mechanical. The first issue is the simple grammar and proofreading mistakes. One example of a proofreading error is this block of text: “spina bifida is is a condition in which…” or when she has grammar error with her spacing around titles: “ . Dr.Belfort…” It is annoying for the reader to work through the mechanical problems, and distracts from the main focus of the essay. The author can fix this by investing a bit more into proofreading or using editing software. Next, Kunzang can fix the balance of paragraph composition. The summary paragraph is far too long and large compared to the relatively empty second and third paragraphs. This issue can be fixed by simply relocating some of her information to the other paragraphs and using a technique of spreading out the contextual information over the essay where it makes more sense instead of frontloading it.
This review points out that even the most seemingly impractical of ideas still has value. This new procedure was developed for a small minority of people, 1500 cases a year, and is a brand new idea that somehow works. Even so, 1500 lives may seem like just a number on paper, but the author urges us to consider them as individual people and not some clumped together group. By exploring strange solutions, these doctors were able to dramatically increase their surgical success rates, and progress science. This article just proves that no idea is worthless and everything is worth a try.
Cindy Kwok
ReplyDeleteBio Current Events #7
Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.”
New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
I read Kunzang Namgyal’s critique on the article “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient”. I think Namgyal did a great job summarizing the article as a whole. She explained many of the terms that most would otherwise not known such as spina bifida and tells what it does to the fetus specifically. I also liked how she included lots of small details that enhance her critique greatly. An example is when she mentions how the surgery is performed on the fetus, and wy doctors feel that this method will work. She also mentions things such as how many times the doctors have tested this surgery and on what (through sheep and practicing with a simulator). Lastly, I liked the way she makes sure everyone gets the whole picture by adding in quotes which help explain parts that would otherwise have been hard to reword. The quotes provide important details such as how the amniotic fluid contributes to the spina bifida and the success rate of the operation.
Things that could improve was having more information in her “effect on humanity” paragraph which doesn’t have much information compared to to the other two paragraphs. I feel that she wrote as much as she could for the first paragraph and left the others with little information. I feel something that article could have included was perhaps an breif outline of how this new procedure could be advanced in the next couple of years. Some of the doctors say that it can be risky, so is there anything that could be proposed to resolve or minimize these risks? Because the procedure is not completely safe, it would have been interesting to include some ideas of where this idea could head to next.
Overall, this article was interesting because this is the first I’ve ever heard of such a surgery. I was even more surprised when I heard that the doctors had practiced with sheep and simulators and have had a pretty good success rate so far. I liked that this article was very relevant and how Namgyal stated that this new procedure could lead to hundred more dedicated to helping fetuses who suffer from issues that could potentially be treated.
Kirsten Ircha 11/6/17
ReplyDeleteAP Biology E/F Even Current Event #7
Citation:
Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.”
New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
Kunzang Namgyal wrote an insightful review of the article, “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient” by Denise Grady. At the beginning of the review, Kunzang provides detailed topic context stating, “This article was written about an experimental procedure performed on fetuses that suffer from spina bifida. Spina bifida is is a condition in which the backbone and spinal cord do not develop properly. Many children born with this condition are unable to walk, lack bladder control, and suffer from fluid buildup in their brains. Spina bifida is not usually fatal, however operating on the child post birth can worsen their disabilities.” By providing this information, the remaining review is easier to understand, as background information has been provided. Furthermore, Kunzang describes the work of top doctors writing, “Dr.Belfort and Dr. Whitehead developed their fetoscopic procedure by operating on sheep and practicing on a simulator that used a rubber kickball with a doll wrapped in chicken skin to mimic a fetus in a uterus.” As Kunzang uses descriptions of experts, the review is seen as more legitimate and allows the reader to understand that Kunzang has a full understanding of the topic. Lastly, Kunzang incorporates statistics and quotes throughout the review claiming, “The percentage of children who could walk independently rose to 40 percent from 20 percent, and the need for a shunt was cut in half, to 40 percent from 82 percent.” By including this information, the reader is able to see the impacts and importance of the topic, as many babies have been positively affected due to the new medical techniques.
Although, I enjoyed the article, a couple of areas could be improved. The biggest issue dealt with the informal language and tone use in the review. For example, Kunzang begins the review by stating, “This week I decided to read the New York Times article.” As the review is an academic pieces, a more sophisticated tone should have been utilized. This mistake can be corrected in the future by making sure to use advanced language and avoiding basic or juvenile wording. Additionally, I feel that Kunzang used too many quotes at the end of her first paragraph. This makes the quotes less meaningful and important. In order to avoid this issue in the future, Kunzang can make sure to use less quotes in certain areas or spread the quotes more evenly throughout the review.
What shocked me the most is when Kunzang claims, “ This article is relevant to society because it offers a new solution to a medical issue that affects 1,500 babies born each year in the United States alone. This new type of surgery could help some of the individuals who suffer from this condition.” These details are so surprising because previously I believed that a baby with a medical condition could not be aided while inside the womb. Hower, through reading the review, I am now aware that fetuses suffering from Spina bifida can be given hope for an improved quality of life. I choose this statement as it proves my previous misconceptions wrong and allows me to understand that these medical techniques are being build upon to aid other prenatal surgeries. This discovery will change my life as I am extremely interested in the topic and will continue to follow updates on this issue in the future.
Hannah Beldotti
ReplyDeleteAP Biology
Current Event Comment
November 5, 2017
Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.” New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
Kunzang did a great job on her current event article for Denise Grady’s, “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.” She began with a summary of what the article discussed. This summary was clear and concise allowing the reader to clarify what they were reading. Also, when Kunzang mentions Dr. Michael A. Belfort, she provides a clear description of his occupation and how he is relevant to the article, “...he chairman of obstetrics and gynecology at Baylor College of Medicine and obstetrician and gynecologist-in-chief of Texas Children’s Hospital.” She does the same for Dr.Whitehead, “...pediatric neurosurgeon, have designed a prenatal surgery known as fetoscopic surgery.” In her second paragraph, Kunzang is incorporates her opinion on how she believes what she read is relevant to society. She states, “The development of this new prenatal procedure could also incite more research into other types of prenatal surgeries that could help fetuses suffering from other conditions. This research and procedure could be a model for other new types of surgeries performed on fetuses.” This shows the reader that she had great comprehension and understood what she read. Lastly, Kunzang compares and contrasts what she thought the other could have improved upon. When criticizing the author, she states, “I wish that Grady had given a better explanation of what exactly spina bifida is earlier on in her article, she eventually defined the condition however it would have been beneficial if she had defined the term earlier on.” Then, when she is commending the author, she states, “The article provided diagrams of a fetus with spina bifida, this helped me understand the birth defect in greater depth once it had been defined.”
Although Kunzang did a great job, there were minor areas that could be improved upon. First, her three paragraphs are not similar in length. By improving this, she could create a greater balance between all of her writing. Second, in her concluding paragraph, I wish that she reflected more on her opinion of the article after she stated what the author could improve upon. Lastly, Kunzang used many quotes towards the end of her writing which made it somewhat choppy. However, all these areas could be easily improved upon.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading Kunzang current event review because it provided information on a topic that I was unaware of. I was able to take away the benefits of this procedure to future operations.
Julia Pabafikos
ReplyDeleteMr. Ippolito
November 16, 2017
Current Event #8 Response
Grady, Denise. “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient.” New York Times, New York Times, 23 Oct. 2017, www.nytimes.com/2017/10/23/health/fetal-surgery-spina-bifida.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fhealth&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront.
Kunzang Namgyal did a great job in reviewing her article “To Mend a Birth Defect, Surgeons Operate on the Patient Within the Patient” by Denise Grady. I particularly enjoyed how Kunzang took the time to incorporate the definition of spina bifida and how the backbone and spinal cord do not develop properly. Through explaining the defect, Kunzang is able to educate her reader and makes her review very easy to follow. Additionally, I enjoyed that Kunzang included the process of the surgery and how they operate by lifting the uterus out of the mother, filling it with carbon dioxide gas and then operate while the fetus remains in the uterus. Lastly, I really enjoyed Kunzang’s incorporation of the risks of the surgery but also statistical numbers of the success of the surgery, thus proving that it is a promising treatment.
However, I believe that Kunzang did have two areas in her review in which she could improve upon. Primarily, I would recommend that Kunzang that she would extend the paragraph about how the procedure is relevant to society in order to persuade and truly prove that she believes this treatment is beneficial. Additionally, I would encourage Kunzang to include what the next steps are in this research and how the surgeon's plan to reach the point where they can use this procedure as a reliable and safer procedure.
Overall, Kunzang did a great job of creating a well written review that illustrates how new treatments and surgeries are made. I personally chose to read this article because I was shocked by the title of how surgeries can be performed on a fetus. I believe that this research is exhilarating as it helps both readers and surgeons all over the world to think more outside the box. Through reading this article I believe it provided me with the understanding of fetal surgery and also the many risks associated with it.