For Evelyn -
Evelyn Kluemper
11/8/16
AP Biology C-Odd
Barry, Ellen. "Smog Chokes Delhi, Leaving Residents 'Cowering by Our Air Purifiers'" The New York Times. N.p., 7 Nov. 2016. Web.
Recently, New Delhi has been experiencing dangerous levels of smog in the air. The city is home to 20 million residents who are distressed from the high levels of pollutants in the air. The peak of the smog was the previous weekend, in which the level of concentration of pollutants in the air, or PM 2.5, reached 1,000 micrograms per cubic meter, which is sixteen times what is considered safe by India’s government. The government has taken action for emergency response, including “a 10-day closure of a power plant and a three-day closure of about 1,800 public schools”. New Delhi’s airborne pollutants come from burning trash and crops, driving vehicles, and mass construction.
Having spent time this past summer in Beijing, I have seen the impact of smog in major cities. Developing countries, such as India and China, are likely industrialize at a pace that is too rapid and experience high levels of pollution. It is difficult for people to breathe and the government works tirelessly to dissipate the smog.
The article was alarming and very interesting to read. Most of the article were quotations by experts or those living in New Delhi. Both bring attention to the crisis that New Delhi is in and the severe impact it has on the health of the people. The article would have been more interesting to list further ways the government can take action to make long-term change.
I read Evelyn's review of the article "Smog Chokes Delhi, Leaving Residents 'Cowering by Our Air Purifiers.'" I enjoyed reading her review for three reasons. The first reason is that she chose to review an article that I have a genuine interest in. This kept me entertained throughout her review. The second reason is that she wrote a very good summary of the article and issue at hand. The third reason that I enjoyed her article is that is quoted the article which added lots of credibility to her argument. Although there was lots of good aspects of her there were two aspects that needed improvement. The first was that she could have included more quotations from the article as she mentioned that the article was mostly quotations. Also, she could have included why the government of India allowed the pollution to get so high in the first place. I chose to read this review because I have friends in New Delhi, and I have been hearing about this issue for some time now. Also, when I spent some time in New Delhi over the summer, the air and smog was overwhelmingly strong.
ReplyDeleteBarry, Ellen. "Smog Chokes Delhi, Leaving Residents 'Cowering by Our Air Purifiers'"
ReplyDeleteThe New York Times. N.p., 7 Nov. 2016. Web.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/08/world/asia/india-delhi-smog.html
Evelyn wrote an excellent review of the article “Smog Chokes Delhi, Leaving Residents ‘Cowering by Our Air Purifiers’ ” by Ellen Barry. I thought that her summary of the article was efficient and effective because she described only the most relevant information and stressed its importance. Evelyn included the concentration of the pollutants in the air of New Delhi and then explained that this level is sixteen times what is considered safe by the government. By including this information, the urgency of the situation is understood by the reader. The cause of the pollution is understood through her discussion that the “airborne pollutants come from burning trash and crops, driving vehicles, and mass construction.” I also enjoyed how she added a personal connection to her review by explaining how she could relate to the smog through her visit to China.
Evelyn wrote a thoughtful and thorough response to Ellen Barry’s article, but there are two areas that could be improved. I thought that the quote that she included about India’s emergency response could have been paraphrased because the information it provided was factual and did not provide a unique insight. Instead, Evelyn could have referenced one of the statements of the experts or the citizens of New Delhi in order to provide a more personal touch.
From reading her response to the article, I learned that there is an extremely dangerous amount of pollution in New Delhi, India. The health effects on the people of India are very concerning and I can’t believe that I hadn’t heard about this before I read Evelyn’s current event response. I will definitely pay attention to updates on this environmental and medical issue.
Alexander Plaza
ReplyDeleteBarry, Ellen. "Smog Chokes Delhi, Leaving Residents 'Cowering by Our Air Purifiers'"
The New York Times. N.p., 7 Nov. 2016. Web.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/08/world/asia/india-delhi-smog.html
Evelyn, I thought that you wrote a very effective article review. First, you include many numbers and precise facts.For example, you include the exact concentration of pollution in the air and what the number means. These help the reader understand the topic very clearly. Also, I like that you include quotes from the article. You cite the article on what will happen in the case of an emergency response “a 10-day closure of a power plant and a three-day closure of about 1,800 public schools”. This helps establish a direct connection to the article being reviewed. Finally, I thought that your article was very concise. This helps keep the reader's attention and you don't waste time on useless information. Although your review was good overall, there are still some things I think you could work on. Firstly, your critique of the article could be made more in depth. It would help for you to elaborate at some points. For example, you could explain what you felt was the most surprising about the article or an explanation of the effect of all the quotes on the article. This would give your critique more substance. Also, I think you should explain more about how the pollution has become such a problem in the first place. This context could clear up any confusion about the subject. The health problems I learned about from the article are very alarming. Normally, when I hear about smog and pollution I mostly think about China but I will definitely pay more attention to India now as well.